So, you’re interested in this girl, right? Man, she’s a cutie! You’re super nice to her, and hey, maybe you’re even spending a little money on her - maybe you’re spending a lot of money on her! She’s gonna love it. But oh no - she either has a significant other already, or gets one all of a sudden, leaving you in the dust! What the fuck?? You are so “”friendzoned”“, bro.
You know why that’s not true? Because someone isn’t obligated to return your romantic attraction just because you’ve been kind to them or lauded them with gifts and affection. What if one of your friends did this to you, and you had absolutely no interest in them at all? How would you feel if they grew bitter and angry about this, as if your friendship wasn’t good enough? Wouldn’t that make you uncomfortable - maybe even a little pissed off? I bet it would!
People aren’t machines that you feed currency into until they’re ready to date you. That’s not how the world works. If you get turned down by someone you’re interested in, “despite” you being nice and spending your time and money on them, it doesn’t mean they’re a shitty person. Nobody is obligated to date anyone, ever.
Being rejected sucks, especially when you really like someone. I know, it’s happened to me several times! It’s not the end of the world, though, and holding a grudge or feeling slighted over it isn’t going to change the situation - it’s just going to make you look like kind of an asshole.
So ease your foot off the gas of your ragemachine, think about the situation a little. Reflect on it. Appreciate the friendship you have and assess your priorities and actions. Above all else, please don’t act like a douche. The other person probably doesn’t deserve it.
Someone isn’t obligated to return your romantic attraction just because you’ve been kind to them or lauded them with gifts and affection. Nobody is obligated to date anyone, ever. Fuck, ever since I realised how bullshit and misogynistic the friend-zone was, I realised that this has actually happened to me; this previously nice guy basically bullied me for years after finding out that I had a boyfriend (at the time). I actually felt guilty at first, like I shouldn’t have led him on (even though I was just being friendly). Now I know it’s his fucking problem. Thank you, feminism. Fuck the friend-zone.